


THE OTHER SIDE OF SUMMER

by tvdorokis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, M/M, Nervous Kuroo, Shy Kenma, The Smiths - Freeform, bokuto is a huge slut, cheesy foreign pop songs, inspired by cmbyn kinda hehe, it's the 80s and everyone's in love besides kuroo :(, soft, summer in the 80s
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvdorokis/pseuds/tvdorokis
Summary: "i could look at you forever. i find you absolutely captivating" i breathed out, brushing my foot against the soles of kenma's worn-out shoes. the boy shook his head, trying his best not to meet my gaze."you've only just met me, kuroo. i'm not even remotely interesting and it won't take you that long to find out" he giggled, a lovely shade of crimson smothering his cheeks."oh, but you couldn't be more wrong" i hummed, closing my eyes in sweet and utter bliss. it was not the hot summer winds that kept me safe, or the lyrics of love songs faded out in the background.it was the warmth of a boy who i had just met with eyes that begged to see the world beneath our feet.or,where a clueless yet witty kuroo and an awfully shy kenma try and find the meaning of love and life in late 80s tokyo.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

KUROO TETSUROU

TOKYO, JAPAN

1986

i don’t quite remember much from last summer.

all i ever became accustomed to was the perpetual cycle of crickets chirping each night until the men, women and children of tokyo would wake in the early, hot summer mornings. i memorised the way everybody would wake up on the weekends in the town i’d visit along with tsukki, bokuto and akaashi each year. i would first hear the old man from downstairs grumble at this dogs for interrupting his well needed nap. all him and his son, hidori ever did in the day and the night was pick corn until their hands became bruised and their cheeks and backs became flushed from the scorching heat. then it would be the middle aged women from next door, the kids from down the street and the lady who ran the convenience store bokuto and i would frequent almost everyday. it was convenient. everything was close by and everyone knew everybody. 

it was my home away from in the summer, but i felt something heavy in my heart each time i’d come and go. this town was known for its matchmaking and its summer flings, yet i’ve not found a single person to call mine.

bokuto and akaashi have been hiding their passionate romance from everyone but tsukki and i for the better part of 6 months now. they longed for each the way lovers do, and you could say i envied their relationship because i have never loved anyone they way they love each other. tsukki often caught me scowling at their not so subtle public displays of affection and smiled. it was a smile he rarely plastered on his usually expressionless face, but nevertheless it was a reassuring smile. he’d comfort me and tell me that i’ll find somebody. whoever they may be and wherever they are, they’re out there for me and only me. but i was growing impatient and bored and most importantly, lonely. 

“there’s a disco party two streets away at kageyama’s summer house. they’re playing these cheesy foreign pop songs i think you’d like. wanna come?” bokuto asked me, barging into my room with nothing but a pair of awfully bleached jeans and ratty converses. his torso was smothered in bruises that i’d much rather not question the story behind and i tilted my head at his messy state.

“depends” i shrugged, “who’s coming?”

“some guys from shiratorizawa, oikawa and iwa, a few of kag’s friends from outside of school and i’m pretty sure tanaka, noya, daichi, suga and hinata” he replied, snatching a stray shirt off my bedroom floor and sniffing it. i winced in disgust and threw a clean shirt of mine at bokuto, to which he happily obliged and put it on.

“i’ll probably come later on, i’m not feeling too well” i partially lied, skipping a few pages of the manga i was forcing myself to read. tsukki had suggested i should check out all 6 volumes of this dinosaur apocalypse slash sci-fi action manga that came out less than 10 years ago, and i haven’t read anything more mentally draining in my life. i didn’t have the heart tell tsukki though, considering he was ecstatic that he got someone into the same type of manga he reads, so i kept quiet and read throughout the evenings.

“oh alright, i’ll call you from a payphone when i get there. see you!” bokuto grinned, slamming my bedroom door shut eagerly. i could hear his feet land on every single step as he headed downstairs and out to the front porch, where tsukki and akaashi were waiting with cartons of beer in their hands. i quickly opened my window, letting the warm breeze caress my face as i shouted after them.

“don’t get yourselves pregnant!” 

“we won’t intentionally, dad!” tsukki yelled back, which caused the three to burst into a fit of giggles. i shook my head and left the window open, figuring i’d make use of the only source of air i’ve gotten these past few days. i hadn’t left the house in a while, partly because i had no intentions of either swimming in the lake or going down to the arcade, and partly because i’ve caught myself in a bit of a slump.

i’ve never been this lonely before, even if i’m surrounded by 3 people i’m lucky to call my friends. there’s something about the way i’m approaching this all. i’m supposed to be joyful that i’ve escaped into the sweet bliss of the tokyo nightlife. i’m supposed to be glad that i’m lucky enough to have somewhere to stay for the summer, and not surrounded by 4 walls and a barely functioning air conditioner back home. it’s not that i’m not grateful. i just feel different.

i tossed and turned around in my bed for a while, hoping for some sort of sign that would motivate me to escape my room and head down to that party bokuto was talking about before. as the thought was about to leave my mind, however, the telephone began ringing from downstairs and i have never sped down a staircase so fast in my life. 

“hello?” i answered, although it came out more like a question. i expected bokuto, but it was an obviously irritated tsukki.

“bokuto’s piss drunk and akaashi is literally 3 seconds away from devouring him. other than that, the party’s great” tsukki deadpanned, and i laughed in reply. i came to the conclusion that i would never get sick of the way tsukki explained the direst or most ridiculous situations in the most monotone voice. 

“i’m guessing that’s my cue, then” i chuckled, “should i come down?”

“yeah, just don’t forget to bring a carton of beer or something. the entry ticket’s alcohol. you can find some in the garage downstairs” he reminded me and i hummed, muttering a ‘goodbye’ as i entered akaashi’s bedroom and began rummaging through his closet. i never owned the most sophisticated clothing. my wardrobe was made up of either foreign rock band t-shirts, boots, heavily ripped jeans and frayed leather jackets i stole from my dad from time to time. either way, showing up in my attire would come off as a bit inappropriate at such a pop-like disco party.

i settled on a plain white shirt, khaki shorts and a pair of chunky white sneakers one size too big for me. i awkwardly stood in front of the mirror, hunching over and leaning back, observing the way i looked. all my relatives always told me i was such a handsome young man, as well as tsukki, bokuto and akaashi always saying i had the looks of a total womanizer. that couldn’t be farther from the truth, though, seeing as i’ve never even looked a girl properly out of pure fright that i’d stare too long or completely mess up in front of her. 

after messing around with my unmanageable hair for quite some time, i swiped a couple thousand yen off the counter that shouldn’t have been left so dangerously out in the open and stuffed it in the pocket of my (akaashi’s) shorts. it seems as though i wasn’t the only one heading to a party so late in the evening, and i watched as a young couple strode into the city while the night was still young. the couple consisted of a black-haired woman dressed in all crimson, except for her heels that were the same shade as her hair, and another woman who’s hair travelled down to the middle of her back in tender blonde waves that looked almost natural. i could hear them whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears and i smiled softly.

it wasn't a sense of jealousy i felt this time, but a sense of longing.

i just need to search farther in order to find somebody, and that is what i will do.

-


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “kuroo, kenma’s asking you something” hinata spoke, pulling at the sleeves of my jacket as he tried shaking me out of my trance. i wasn’t aware that i completely zoned out and blinked a few times, gaining back all senses of reality.
> 
> “who?” i asked, rubbing my eyes tiredly. the orange haired boy pointed to my left, where a boy no taller than hinata stood awkwardly with his eyes observing the tiles beneath him. it wasn’t until he finally met my gaze that i choked up a little.
> 
> “could i change the song?”

KUROO TETSUROU

“hi, excuse me?” i called out after the two women in front of me, and they both hesitantly turned around. i noticed the subtle fear flash through their eyes as the blonde woman gripped onto her handbag. these parts of tokyo may be welcoming but just like any other street filled to the brim with clubs and bars, they were equipped with drunks and junkies.

i approached them carefully, letting them know that although i looked rather messy, i was nothing more than a clueless teenager. “sorry to bother you, but do you have any idea where the disco that has those foreign pop songs playing is? it’s at tobio kageyama’s summer house and i’m not quite sure which street it’s-“

“oh! i’m kageyama’s cousin. nice to meet you, i’m sora” the black-haired woman smiled, extending her long lanky hands. i noticed her ring finger was adorned in subtle yet eye catching tattoos, along with a silver band that the other blonde was wearing too. without thinking, i shook her hand and nodded. kageyama never mentioned a cousin. he was so awfully closed off from everybody though, so i’m not nearly as surprised as i should be.

“it’s just a turn to the left and another street down. care to join us?” sora asked, tilting her head as she awaited an answer. “besides, we need a trusty companion to get us through the depths of tonight, and you look moderately intimidating”

i shifted from one foot to the other, creasing my eyebrows at her statement, “uh-thanks? i guess?”

“you’re so cute. got a girlfriend? boyfriend?” the blonde-haired woman piped up, and the three of us began walking down the street that would become seemingly louder as we continued further down the stone pathway.

i shook my head, flustered at her straightforward question. it wasn't often i was asked this question, and i never had the guts to reply back with 'actually, in all my 19 years of living, i've barely glanced at a person i've even found the tiniest bit attractive, and i believe i'll never find true love'

“well, you’re very handsome. there’s someone out there for you, surely. you just need patience” sora commented, adding a reassuring wink. i smiled back, my eyes scanning the rocky floor beneath me.

i didn’t realise how far we had walked and noticed that each and every single bar was packed with people i knew from spending the past 6 summers in this sleepless town. somewhere between the crowds of japanese folk, however, were foreigners dressed from top to bottom in flamboyant clothing.

in all my years of coming here, i had never spotted somebody that wasn’t of japanese descent, so it was surprising to see that people from different countries were just now finding out about this gem hidden in the outskirts of the city. sora had yelled out something in english that seemed awfully familiar to me to a red-haired man clinging onto a pink-haired woman. they exchanged short conversation as we passed by before turning on to the street kageyama’s summer house was located. i could tell from half a kilometre away that this was no ordinary party. bokuto spoke of it previously as if it were a meaningless get-together, but it looked like the complete opposite.

“oh god it looks like one of those frat parties you see on american television” sora grumbled, eyeing the two-storey building smothered in party streamers and various types of confetti. “i didn’t think he’d go this far”

“knowing kageyama he’s probably holed up inside his room and let tanaka and noya take complete control of the party” i chuckled, arriving at the gate that guarded the monstrosity in front us. behind it were two teenagers that couldn’t of looked older than 18 on the verge of blacking out. sora reached forward, and pushed the steel black gate towards the house, which allowed it creek open and have the pair stumble out the premises and on to the street.

“kuroo! ‘bout time!” a familiar voice exclaimed and i raised my eyes from off the floor, only to see bokuto handling his lover, akaashi on the front porch, where three guys from shiratorizawa were passing a blunt between themselves as they sat down comfortably on fold out chairs.

i shook my head and grinned, snaking my arm around the shoulders of a worn-out akaashi. “where’s tsukki?”

“upstairs talking to yama and daichi. who’s this?” akaashi asked, his eyes landing on the two women standing awkwardly in front of the shiratorizawa guys.

“i’m sora and this is my girlfriend, aneko. it’s nice to meet you” the black-haired woman smiled, nodding at the two who looked completely dumbfounded. the two women giggled and thanked me for accompanying them before heading inside and handing over a carton of beer to who i assumed was one of kageyama’s friends.

“shit, i completely forgot about the entry ticket” i swore, muttering obscenities under my breath as akaashi chuckled to himself.

“we were just messing around. you’re under 20 anyway so kids get in for free” he informed me nonchalantly and i gasped in offense.

“i’m not a child! just because you’re old doesn’t mean you have to display your obvious jealousy for my youth” i snapped back, shooting him a poisonous glare as i headed inside the house. my first intention was to find tsukki, but i had absolutely no idea which way to turn in this castle-like institution.

kageyama never spoke of his riches, and i could definitely see why. he already thought his current friends were only interested in him because of his money, which couldn’t of been further from the truth. kageyama never had very many friends as a child, so he used whatever cash his father left lying around to buy love and happiness, and with that he never knew the real value of friendship until now.

i spotted kageyama through the sliding doors which led to the backyard smiling oh so softly at the orange headed boy who was in complete awe of the jukebox by the pool. he never mentioned it, but his love for hinata was absolutely infinite. their sweet, budding romance reminded me of those portrayed in story tales, and i admired their innocence completely.

i noticed that most of the crowd was outside, and while almost all of them were dancing (terribly, i might add) to the same song, they each looked entirely like they were in different worlds. it was as if the music flowing in through their ears and to their immature hearts spoke to them differently. the lyrics were unfamiliar to me, seeing as i don’t normally listen to pop songs from foreign countries, but it made me feel a sense of normal i had never felt before. everybody was undeniably and most inevitably enjoying the night and its summer-y undertones.

“kuroo! there you are! come pick a song!” hinata exclaimed from a distance as i shut the sliding door behind me. i tried not treading on all the people who were passed out peacefully on furniture that looked too expensive to even be touched, let alone sprawled out on with puke smothering it. i looked up and instantly met eyes with kageyama, who must’ve known exactly what was going on through my head. i smiled sympathetically, shrugging a shoulder before making it to the jukebox which was larger than i thought.

“what do all these songs even mean?” i questioned, tapping the glass in which each song title was caged behind.

hinata shrugged, popping another coin in the slot and pressing a random number, “beats me, that’s what makes this so fun. you never know which song you’re gonna get!”

shortly after, a band i was most familiar with began playing through the speakers and i sighed in joy. this charming man by the smiths was a favourite of mine, and i was positive i’d never forget how i discovered it in my junior year of high school. 80s rock, especially british, was immensely popular at karasuno at the time. i remember arriving at the high school with bokuto for a quick practice match with tsukki and daichi, and what was meant to be a quick match turned into 8 consecutive matches that lasted well into the evening. as the four of us were about to call it a night, however, suga came bursting in with a stereo he stole from coach ukai’s office and the first song i heard when we all eagerly pressed play was the one playing now. it was summer, we were all young, sweaty and completely and utterly in love with the way that song swayed us from start to finish. i didn’t know it at the time, but it was a memory being made that i would only think of in times like these, yet i would cherish it forever.

“do you mind if i switch the song?”

_switch,_

_the song._

_do you mind?_

“kuroo, kenma’s asking you something” hinata spoke, pulling at the sleeves of my jacket as he tried shaking me out of my trance. i wasn’t aware that i completely zoned out and blinked a few times, gaining back all senses of reality.

“who?” i asked, rubbing my eyes tiredly. the orange haired boy pointed to my left, where a boy no taller than hinata stood awkwardly with his eyes observing the tiles beneath him. it wasn’t until he finally met my gaze that i choked up a little.

“could i change the song?”

-


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "you think i'm cool?"
> 
> "well, you seem cool. i don't really know you, so-" kuroo trailed off, fiddling with the tips of his fingers.
> 
> "what are you implying?" kenma teased softly, tucking a stray blonde lock of hair behind his ear. oh how he wished to braid his hair. he didn't have a clue how to braid. perhaps kiyoko or yachi could teach him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to switch the povs up a bit to see what i liked more :-)

THIRD PERSON P.O.V

“oh- um yeah, sorry, go ahead” were the only foolish words kuroo managed to babble out before stepping out of the boy’s way so he could scan the list of songs until he found one he liked.

the boy.

that boy.

kenma, was it?

kuroo had only met his gaze for half a second, but he could memorise his face entirely as he stood with his small back facing him and hinata.

he was beautiful. but not the type of beautiful where you deemed somebody was attractive, no, this was a beauty that went completely unmatched.

the dark-haired boy was absolutely mesmerised.

his straight hair just kissed the tip of his jawline, which was coated in a honey blonde only he could suit. his roots were brown, and kuroo figured he sort of liked it that way and kept it, or he would’ve just re-dyed it like everybody else who had coloured hair. he wore baggy shorts, vans that were ratty and worn out and a purple windbreaker over a white shirt with a picture of tom and jerry displayed on the front.

and he was small, _terribly small_. kuroo imagined the way his delicate, frail hands would grip a cup of a coffee or a paintbrush. he imagined the way he’d take off his shoes, revealing a pair of tiny feet. he imagined the way he’d doze off in class, or perhaps the way he’d pick daisies in a field of assorted flowers.

he could imagine the way he did everything.

was this love? was kuroo so touch starved that he was beginning to imagine a life with a boy he's barely uttered a few words to?

no, this was absurd. he was becoming delusional.

“i like the hatful of hollow better” the boy mumbled, turning back around as he leaned against the jukebox that was only slightly bigger than him. there was a way he met kuroo's gaze that he swore kenma could’ve heard his heart stop. innocently enough, the honey-haired boy would just barely look up at kuroo from underneath his eyelashes, tilt his head and breathe in the air that smelt of the generations yet to come. kuroo assumed he did not drink, but if he did, it would be the sweetest mix of alcohol anyone could ever muster up.

“so you like their old stuff huh?” the taller male responded, congratulating himself on not stumbling upon his words. kenma nodded in reply, tapping the edge of the machine in rhythm to the song. kuroo noticed that when kenma stood, his knees knocked together almost inevitably, and that made him wonder whether or not he sported bruises on his legs from time to time.

he must be awfully sensitive.

hinata whined, “all this rock music stuff is driving me mad. i’m leaving!” the orange headed boy hopped away into the crowd, trying to find who kuroo assuming was kageyama, who he spotted sneaking away to the top floor earlier on. 

"he's your friend?" kuroo asked, shuffling closer to the smaller figure. he must've felt somewhat uncomfortable as kuroo towered over his vulnerable height and suddenly caved in, nodding his head in a shy-like manner. kenma tried not to meet the other boy's eyes, and instead flickered his own golden orbs to the crowd of people in front of them, as if he were trying to look for somebody.

"sorry" kuroo squeaked, backing away into a wall. he tried with all his might not to scurry away in embarrassment. finally, he had found someone he was interested in, and with his unapproachable demeanour, he managed to mess up _again._

kenma smiled a small smile, "it's fine, you didn't do anything" and with that same smile, he lifted his gaze and met kuroo's eyes that were glued to his lips. was he wearing chapstick? or were they just naturally that shade of peach? if only he could just-

"you didn't wanna come here tonight, did you?" he commented, invading kuroo's thoughts that had yet again drifted off into places they shouldn't have been. he noticed that this boy was awfully patient. he approached things with such ease and never pressured an answer out of anybody. all he did was wait - considerably and politely. 

"i guess you could say that. i love parties, don't get me wrong, this atmosphere's just a bit different" the dark-haired boy stammered, internally begging to himself that he didn't have a flustered complexion. this was perhaps the first time he's maintained a casual conversation with somebody he's found attractive. kuroo was proud.

kenma's smile faltered and he looks down at his feet, "i'm the complete opposite. i have social anxiety so bad sometimes i can barely breathe at outings like this. the only reason i've even managed to stay around for so long is that hinata helps out a lot. he makes me feel less weird"

"you're not weird. i think you're really cool" kuroo blabbered out, "i mean uh- that's normal, you know? you're not any less normal than somebody who likes to party every night"

what he expected next was nothing more than an appreciative nod, but he received something that would remain embedded into his mind for the rest of tonight and possibly forever, even.

kenma blushed.

he blushed.

blushed.

a rich shade of crimson ranged from the tips of his ears to the bridge of his nose and all kuroo could do was watch. he watched as he became as flustered as kuroo was and his heart screamed and yelped and did endless backflips until the smiths and the people around them talking was the only thing keeping silence from consuming them both.

"you think i'm cool?"

"well, you seem cool. i don't really know you, so-" kuroo trailed off, fiddling with the tips of his fingers.

"what are you implying?" kenma teased softly, tucking a stray blonde lock of hair behind his ear. oh how kuroo wished to braid his hair. he didn't have a clue how to braid. perhaps kiyoko or yachi could teach him.

"that i get to know you?" kuroo replied, although his statement came out more like an uncertain question. he had a habit of doing that.

"i'd like to get to know you too" the blonde said to him in a tone no louder than a whisper.

"i'm kuroo, it's nice to meet you" he grinned, extending his hand in hopes that he could clasp kenma's and savour his touch for a moment. the other boy reached forward, slender fingers barely making it past the end of kuroo's palm.

he doesn't think he's ever graced anything so soft in his life.

"kenma"

kenma, kenma, kenma.

you are absolutely fascinating.

_______

KUROO

the winds outside had practically halted to a stop with the exception of the occasional gust blowing back my hair, but i couldn't care less; all i could do was gaze at the way the boy striding down the street next to me looked completely ethereal as he bathed in the light of the moon above us. it seemed so faraway, the moon. i wonder if it ever felt the same way toward earth. is it in complete awe each time it faces our planet? is it as in love with the sun as people say?

i will never know.

"what are you thinking about?" kenma asked me, lightly kicking a pebble off the pathway and onto the road, where a car would be lucky enough to pass by every 5 minutes - 10 at the most.

travelling to the moon with you.

"i don't think i'd quite like it up there" he giggled shyly, "how about you take me to europe first?"

oh no.

oh no.

"shit, sorry" i spluttered, looking away in complete and utter humiliation. i can't believe i said that out loud. i couldn't get myself to meet his eyes again and instead i frantically glued my own to the footpath stretching out in front of me. it wasn't until a pair of shoes appeared in my line of vision that i mustered up the courage to look up, but slowly.

it was kenma, walking backwards and grinning.

he reached forward, grabbing my hands as he glanced behind him every few seconds.

"don't let me fall"

my breath hitched in my throat for what seemed like the 100th time tonight as our fingers intertwined. there was something about the way he so casually touched me. did he feel this bottomless pit of butterflies in his stomach like i did? did he long to cup my face in his hands and kiss me to no end? there wasn't a way of knowing and i sighed mentally.

"i wouldn't dream of it" i murmured, my eyes flickering from the moon to the boy carefully treading on the footpath beneath him. kenma accidentally stepped on my feet a few times, to which he would apologise profusely before continuing to look over his shoulder again. 

it wasn't until we reached a field completely sectioned off from the neighbourhood that the honey-haired boy separated his fingers from mine and jogged up to a big oak tree perched atop a hill. i felt a sense of betrayal as i glanced in front of me, eyeing my hands that seemed completely empty without kenma's. 

"beautiful, is it? i come here a lot. it's the only place in tokyo where i can actually get a nice view of the city" he breathed out, "i sometimes even climb the tree, but i get too scared that i can barely pass the second branch" 

my heart fluttered at the thought of him struggling to climb a tree. 

i took no notice of the sudden wind whipping around us like an unwanted stranger in the night and crawled around the trunk that was inevitably blocking my view of the city displayed in front of us like a painting on a canvas. it wasn't anything like i imagined it would be. to a person with no eye for simplistic yet beautiful things, it would've looked like the same old metropolitan area they would pass by, but never stop to appreciate all throughout their lives. to me, it looked like utopia. a place so serene that it simply could not exist. 

i was drowning in all of its glory, and it looked like kenma was, too.

"this is probably the quietest place in japan" i commented, and he hummed beside me, soft breaths and stars in our eyes consuming us both. 

"it is. i think it's breathtaking" the smaller boy replied.

"where do you think all those cars are going so late in the night?" i questioned, bowing down lower as i watched traffic build up in a street i was somehow familiar with. i'm not quite sure whether it was the one further away or closest to us, but i remember tsukki and i visiting a particularly popular street that i can vividly picture to this very day. tsukishima insisted that he needed more manga to fuel his unhealthy and crippling addiction, and thus, that landed us both in that little avenue i could only gaze at now from a long way away.

"i don't really know, but i hope it's somewhere safe for the night" kenma mused, "don't you?"

i pondered for a bit before responding. "yeah, of course"

taking advantage of the silence that would slowly start to wash over us, i reached into the front pockets of the stolen shorts i was wearing. out of habit, i would sometimes rummage through my pockets, looking for nothing in particular in situations like these. however, i didn't know what i was expecting when i searched through the material, but it certainly wasn't a stray cigarette lying in the crevices of the soft fabric. i didn't even assume that akaashi drank alcohol, let alone smoked something so decaying and awful smelling.

without thinking, i brought the cancer stick up to my nose and winced at the bitter, ugly stench. i wondered how long he had kept this hobby of his as a secret?

"you smoke?" kenma asked, looking rather quizzical as he observed the way the cigarette bent slightly forward in front of my widened eyes. akaashi must've forgotten he had left it in his shorts.

"no!" i denied almost instantly, dropping the cigarette into my lap with ease, "i mean, i stole my friend's shorts because i wasn't really sure what to wear tonight and found it in his pockets. it's weird, though, considering he's so quiet and reserved that i couldn't imagine someone like him going through a carton of these"

"you don't have to necessarily be a loud or ambitious person to smoke. perhaps he does it because it relieves him in some way. either way, your friend probably hides it because of the sole fact that you'd react just the way you did now" kenma pointed out, tilting his head in a teasing way as i became completely dumbfounded by his witty remark. i had only known this boy for 3 hours, yet with the way he carried himself just now, i felt as though we've known each other in countless lifetimes before this one.

he was right, however, my shocked expression faltering as i glimpsed at the cigarette lying in my lap. after all this time it felt like i hadn't known my best friend after all. an unavoidable pit of guilt formed in my stomach and i groaned in anguish. i was so caught up in my own petty problems and mix-ups that i never took the time to even crack open a can of cold beer and catch up with the one person who probably needed it most.

"god, i'm such a loser aren't i?"

"you're far from it. i'm sure he knows what he's doing and that he's alright. you're a good friend, kuroo" the honey-haired boy beamed. i felt all my problems glide past me and into the city below us when kenma would reassure me and my faults. i don't think i could ever get tired of someone like him.

"you think so?" i mumbled.

"i know so"

-


End file.
